ROARRRR! And other onomatopoeias of distress.

Ok, can I just whine, you know, for one paragraph? Just one, I swear.

I AM TIRED. Yup, friggin' wiped. I'm sick of driving. My back and my hips are killing me, and northern Texas is SO FREAKING FLAT. Honestly, how is it that the earth actually BENDS before the scenery changes in Texas? I'd like to have a serious conversation with the founding fathers who decided to be LAZY JACKWADS and make a state that is basically the size of a European country. Honestly though, they did so well on the original colonies; New England's all nicely puzzle-pieced together and so easy to see like FOUR states in one day. I HAVE BEEN IN TEXAS FOR THREE DAYS TRYING TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE. All I want is one of those stupid blue government issue signs declaring a new state border. There is a 75-80% likelihood I will pull my car over tomorrow at the New Mexico border and kiss the ground. Then maybe I'll do some split squats & lunges to try and stretch my ancient-feeling joints. That's the other thing, I feel like I'm a gazillion flippin' years old with these creaking hips joints, "lower back pain," and what I have deemed, "driver's shoulder's." I feel all hunched over and slouchy. I miss my gym, I miss pull-ups & dead lifts & box squats. I miss busting a sweat and feeling exhausted from actually doing something, not from sitting for seven hours!! My trainer/coach-dude made a program for me to use on the road that works for being in a hotel and not having free-weights available, and I've done it a couple times, but it's not the same! It's borrrrrrinnngggg! Also, why do Texas truckers keep honking at me when I pass them on the highway?? Do I have something in my teeth??

Alright, that's it. I just needed a vent 'sesh. Grammatically that was probably more than a paragraph, but you don't care, right? No one panic, I'm fine. It really hasn't been all that bad. I really am having a blast. It was only today that got to me. Seriously, this part of Texas is bologna (side note, I hate that it's spelled that way. It sounds way more fun that it's spelled... Bull-ohh-kneeeee!). Yea, northern Texas is depressing. I caught myself actually talking aloud in the car. I passed a sign on the road that said "HAY" and said out loud "Oh HEEEEYYYY yourself!" all head-swively with snapping-finger-attitude... Then I looked in the rear-view mirror and shook my head at myself, "Oh no you did NOT." ...Help...

In my desperation to not slide any further down this slippery slope away from sanity, I have two remedies I'm prescribing to myself:

Rx #1: Tomorrow I'm driving to Albuquerque to pick up my mom!!!! She's flying in for the last leg of my trip and I am pumped!!! Santa Fe and the Grand Canyon better get readyyyyy.

Mama Dew!

Rx #2: Tomorrow I will resort to my "Use Only in Emergency iPod Mix": CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Yup, only the likes of Otis Redding's "Merry Christmas, Baby" and Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas" can save me now.

I will argue to the death that this is the best Christmas song everrrrrrr.

Oh, and the final prescription: MORE COWBELL. Obviously.

Another thing I am soooo over: eating out of the cooler and going out for food. Tonight I got a burger from take-out at a legit "roadhouse" that had peanut shells all over the floor and when I asked for the "seasonal veggies" as my side, I got one large stalk of broccoli... I cannot wait to get to Cali and start cooking again. 

In other news, a shout out to my brother Mikey. Micah has taken to calling me "Tumbleweed" lately (for what reason I just cannot figure out), but I think is fabulously creative of him and I love it. Well! TODAY I SAW A REAL TUMBLEWEED. The fact that THAT was the highlight of my day is more than mildly upsetting. 

I can't believe I only have 4 more days on the road... This has gone by SO quickly. No more whining, I  promise. This was my one get-out-of-whiney-jail-free card. Enjoying every minute, I swear!!

NEW MEXICO AND SEEING MY MUTHA TOMORROW!!!!!

Loves n shtuff, to the moon <3

Emi